What Kinda Vagina are You?

By Jacqui Kenyon

This past weekend, Students Advocating Sexual Safety and Empowerment brought its annual performance of The Vagina Monologues to Syracuse University. Thirty-five female students and professors from SU and State University of New York College of Environment Science and Forestry discussed everything from first periods to orgasms to sexual assault. Despite varying themes, every woman communicated the same message: You are your vagina, so love your vagina.

Based on the different vaginas featured in the show, The Student Voice asks readers, “What kind of vagina are you?”

The Angry Vagina

This vagina is “pissed off!” She is sick and tired of things shoved up there – tampons, thongs, and the “cold duck lips” of the OB/GYN. Products trying to change her vagina’s natural functions – douches and feminine sprays meant to make it smell like berries and rain – infuriate her. It isn’t meant to smell pretty!

The Mistreated Vagina

This vagina has seen pain. She may feel repressed from being forced to hide her sexuality or from experiencing sexual abuse. Despite the pain, this vagina is strong. She shows hurt women they are not worthless or alone.

The Shameless Vagina

This vagina is not ashamed of herself. She does not believe in the taboo of open female sexuality.

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She isn’t afraid to moan loudly and repeatedly on stage in front of a crowd. She wants to take back the word “cunt” and remove its negative connotation. This vagina is blunt about women’s sexuality and believes others should follow suit.

The Innocent Vagina

This vagina is young, untouched, and coming to terms with herself. She smells like “snowflakes.” She is inexperienced and has yet to explore her sexuality. This vagina is beginning a new chapter of her life.

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